All my fountains are in you

If faith is a costly commodity i think id always reserve myself a ton of it. Faith has always been behind all the things i have. Even at times i would end up asking myself if i’ve been abusing such privilege from God. But i know He has been challenging me to practice it all the time as I see my limitations reciprocated by His relentless provision.

Let me share you my experience. Ever since i’ve step foot on school, being relaxed and chill out has been my language. I always find comfort in the idea that no matter what, i’d be always recognized in whatever field I’ll involve myself. I consider myself as above average individual with skills in different forms of art; music and graphics (paintings, sketch, etc.) I know, everything would fall in place with how i plan things out. I may not be the best in class but certainly not the least. Later on, high school was my set point to a new skill, specifically music. But college was a lot different my strength and willingness to achieve things got a lot harder.

Dwelled among us

In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God.

“what if God was one of us?, just a stranger on a bus, trying to make His way home”. Do these words sound familiar? Any bells ringing for this song? Were you able to ask yourselves just God, what if? What if you were here personally seeing my situation? God if you are real, what are you even doing to intervene my situation right now. I may be writing this in behalf of your circumstances but i would never know exactly what are the things you’re going through. But my prayer is that you’ll be able to see that He has been here all along, always on the verge of blessing us in all sorts of ways. Everything was revealed in His written word and we ought see it as our only hope as it would always require obedience.

Scientists before would always go against the divine wisdom of God being present at every man’s lifetime but actually its not His existence that concerns these people but God’s Lordship is. Obedience would always be an issue if people were to believe His Lordship ’cause if they would see Him as God it would mean subscribing to the whole context of His sovereignty, in short it would mean to them, no freedom.

courtship

I’m amazed how people have defined courtship in many ways and have different views on it.

I’m halfway through reading this book about courtship by Joshua Harris “Boy meets Girl” and it does really burst out some bubbles of mindsets in me. I may be just stating the same thing as written in the book but for those who were not able to read it let me give you some insights to ponder as i have some overview of the first 100 page of the book.

It may sound strange to you but im really enjoying courtship right now in a different manner in line with how Joshua Harris defined it. I had a relationship before when i was a freshman in college. Its more of a selfish desire to have a partner and a relationship you cant be proud of. We were too exclusive and often reckless in our action which resulted to heartbreak. Why am I talking about my previous relationship if I’m enjoying right now courtship? Its just that we met again and hopefully I pray this is the right time.

Relationship must be purposeful. Why would you even court and eventually be in relationship with someone (for men) if your not yet desiring to get married? Even before the book, I already have this mindset to get married if i were to be in a relationship with a woman which was even more cultivated in my current church. You may say “wait that escalated quickly from courtship to marriage?” But actually that’s the real deal, why wouldn’t you marry that someone your courting or your in relationship for years?

It may sound like Joshua is listing some How-to-do-it-yourself process but actually the main point of Him writing this book is God himself is delighted in courtship (specially in a godly one). God even initiated it and will finished it when time comes that his Son, Jesus would marry his bride “the church”.

Wisdom should prevail everytime. You must not be insisting in your intimate desires and use it to show affection but be always mindful and wise to consider that you might be seeing each other being more than friends but remember your less than lovers yet. What is done intimately always and never fails to progress so be conscious of the limits and boundaries so as not to go ahead of God’s leading in it if you wanted to be fruitful in courting her.

The book has so many points to consider and i cant funnel it down to a single script but what should be on top as you see a potential in having a pursuit to a woman is “did God lead you to that desire being with that individual? Where there instances that you manipulated things to be in that situation? Always put in mind to hit the highest priority which is to honor God and let your action be a blessing to other individual specially singles.

I’m just blessed how my leaders made themselves a great example of a godly relationship. By being led by them in every step i do, i know im on the right track. And as they oversee my actions, loopholes are noticed which me and my future partner is still working on right now. I may not be able to be perfectly fitted to be a partner someday as husband for that matter but i know Jesus qualified me to constantly progress in understanding His ways on loving His bride, the church. As i continuously seek His will of purity and holiness, i know i will be in the right path pursuing a woman. I must be faithful to God before i can be faithful to my wife in the future.

how music led me to something greater

Started out a normal kid full of ambition, came from a loving and supportive family in which i consider “thee” ideal and best family i could say. I was a local boy grew up with a very competitive family in the area of raising their kids in a manner that is worthy of imitating. And i can say i’d love to imitate the way they’ve raised me and i mean truly you can claim that life would be a nudge easier as you glimpse from time to time from their ways. My younger sister and I grew up to know that we are special (not in a negative mindset) and loved, and for that reason we developed this attitude of being so secured and confident of whatever planet-size problem would come. And if you ask, yes they are Christians, cliché it may seem but they’re not the pushy-type that would shovel every bit of teaching into your mouth for you to change.

As what i’ve said they’re not the pushy-type but let me present to you music (haha). We would go to church (which I  encountered my first church-band) and at the middle of the service I’d ask them for me to go home as I find the preaching so boring I could hardly keep up and be awake (losts i tell you ). The only reason why I’d love to go to church is the banging of the drums as the worship service would start as if my world would stop as I see my kuya Mark throws some sick drum rolls and aesthetics like there’s an unending party (music you say?). From the very first time I laid my eyes on that Pearl drum set, I promised to myself that one day I would be up there playing it like there’s no tomorrow.

As I reach high school peer pressure kicks in and during my time your cool if you’re member of a rock band and plays a specific instrument (specially cool for the ladies you may say). And me being too naive in being part of a band I started learning to play the guitar to please some girl classmates (thanks to Marga who criticized the entire boys in the class for not learning any musical instrument) but inside of me says this is not what I’d love to learn. Months passed, now I’m ready to strum guitars like a rock star but peers started to shift some interest and moved into sports. Now my strumming skills ended up to be part of Rondalla (ensemble of stringed instruments played with the plectrum or pick and generally known as plectrum instruments).  I was a bit disappointed because we were playing folk songs and all that Kundiman cultured genre. I may have some second thoughts of being part of it but still i flourish and was appointed to be the leader/head of the guitarists among the rondalla members. My playing skills also was plugged in to the worship band of our very own church as I was part of the rondalla. And from that day onwards I know I’m home.

My parents were even supportive of the venture I was having and bought me my first own guitar. I took pride of my band in church but honestly I cant say I’m a Christian by deeds. I talk back to my parents and argue non-sense ideas just to prove myself right, I cheat on school and learned hilarious stuffs from boys in class up to the point of stealing (from parents…wow I could hardly imagine that) just to satisfy addictive computer games. As I fulfil every own desire I would end up dissatisfied, always shifting to bargain with myself to be better when I see a dead end of a wrongful act, and it was a routine until early years in college. Slowly my desire to be better had a 180 degree turn when one of the preacher from a camp I joined (my former church) stated “amidst every sin you did, Jesus chose to serve you with everything He has, now, can you serve Him with everything you’ve got? every bit of gift He has given, are you willing to offer it to Him?” now that’s a big wake up call to me. It had dented my entire senses that I could not forget those lines even at present (thanks to Ptr. Tiempo). It started a burning desire in me to choose that person whom served me well all these years, and that is Jesus. I want to serve Him through music. I even decided not to be part of a secular band but only play in the church. With that decision in mind it wasn’t a smooth slide ride for me.

My family had some issues with my former church and was able to settle it but my parents were not at peace because as a family we can say that we outgrew the church and I too had some sort of questions towards the ministry that were too confidential yet were unresolved. Then came Victory Dumaguete a church that solely Honors God and Makes Disciples (I’m advertising actually haha). The story behind how I was invited was totally ridiculous and too amazing at the same time (better write another one for this). Now the real deal is yet to start.

My friend, classmate, doormate (soon to be bandmate) Miggy invested time in me as he introduced me to his church family as we too have common friends in and out the campus and my former church. We both have known each other as a musician. Me as a lead and acoustic guitar player and him being a bass guitarist. He also invited me later on to join church and youth services back then. I also started inviting my parents which they also approved and find the true meaning of a “relationship with God” (not even requiring a religion for that matter). The rest was history as I started to be part of the Music Ministry together with Miggy.

Now, I may not be a part of that team (8 months already…wow) but purely what Jesus has been teaching me all throughout the years was Him didn’t even treat Himself equal to His father but served humanity in the best way He can. He didn’t just imply in me to serve Him through music but taught me that it should point towards glorifying His worthy name through a lifestyle of worship.

Music has been my staple food but the bread and butter of my life is Jesus. I know Jesus would love to write me if i were a song. Music plays a very vital role in me for it reflects the generation we are in. The very heart of every song released, is a cry of a hungry soul wanting to be heard. I can even conclude music is never music without a spirit entailed to it that touches your very being. Even David the King a psalmist would cry out his desires, apologies and pleas to God through his songs. Everyone is striving hard to be better as the latest secular songs claim, im not against these songs but truly i tell you its an unending path. The world would tell you be the best but God claims you to be “His Masterpiece” nothing to prove. On the other hand don’t limit yourselves worshipping God through music because honestly worship must and should be a lifestyle and if you want to know how, turn to someone who modelled it, Jesus. The worship lifestyle Jesus has shown was too perfect, it may be impossible  to reach but I’m convinced that I can for He said it.